Ah, the art of dining à la française! Picture yourself at a charming Parisian bistro or a cosy countryside auberge, surrounded by the tantalising aromas of French cuisine. But wait – before you dive into that perfectly crafted coq au vin or delicate soufflé, there’s a whole world of unspoken rules and subtle nuances to navigate…
French table etiquette is a delightful dance of tradition and sophistication that can leave even the most seasoned traveller feeling a bit perplexed. From the proper way to wield your cutlery to the sacred timing of wine sips, mastering these dining dos and don’ts will not only save you from committing a faux pas but also elevate your French dining experience to new heights of enjoyment. So, let’s embark on a journey through the intricacies of French table manners – after all, in France, how you eat is just as important as what you eat.
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1. Keep your hands visible
Unlike in some cultures, it’s polite to keep your hands on the table in France, not in your lap. This custom dates back to medieval times when showing empty hands proved you weren’t concealing weapons.
2. Master the art of cutlery
The French hold their knife in the right hand and fork in the left throughout the meal, never switching. They use the knife to push food onto the fork and rarely ‘stab’ their food to get it onto the fork.
3. Bread etiquette
Feel free to tear into bread with your hands, and place it on the table next to your plate. Don’t spread foie gras or cheese on bread like a sandwich. Instead, place a piece on top and bite directly into it.
4. Timing is everything
Never arrive early to a French dinner party. It’s often considered normal to arrive 5-10 minutes late for a formal meal, and 20-45 minutes late for a casual gathering.
5. The host sets the pace
You may want to wait for the host to say “Bon appétit” before starting your meal. This applies in restaurants as well, where you should wait until everyone at the table has been served before starting on your meal.
6. Wine wisdom
In formal settings, men still typically pour wine for women at the table. For some it’s considered impolite for a woman to pour her own wine when men are present.
7. Finishing your plate
It’s polite to eat everything on your plate, as leaving food might offend your host. However, don’t ask for seconds; wait to be offered.
8. Salad savvy
Watch a French person eat a salad – they never cut the leaves. Instead, they meticulously fold the leaves with knife and fork into small, manageable parcels.
9. Pit removal etiquette
When eating olives or cherries, discreetly remove pits by bringing a loosely closed fist to your mouth, depositing the pit, then placing it on your plate or a provided receptacle.
10. Cheese course customs
When presented with a cheese board, take small portions of two or three varieties. Never take the last piece of cheese; it’s considered impolite.
The general principle is to cut cheese in a way that allows each person to enjoy both the rind and the interior, as flavours can vary throughout. Different shapes of cheese require different cutting techniques: round cheeses are typically cut in wedges from the centre outward, log-shaped cheeses in parallel slices, and square or pyramid-shaped cheeses similar to round ones. For large wheel slices, the goal is to cut so that each piece has both centre and rind. Soft cheeses may be served with a spoon. It’s important to use separate knives for different cheeses, avoid touching cheese with hands, take modest portions, and serve cheese at room temperature.
11. Toasting tips
Wait until everyone has been served before raising your glass. Make eye contact with each person as you clink glasses, and avoid crossing arms with others when reaching across the table to toast.
12. After-dinner etiquette
Don’t leave the table until the host has finished their meal. If you must excuse yourself, ask the host for permission.
13. Restaurant rules
Unlike in some countries, it’s uncommon to split meals or make significant changes to menu items in French restaurants. If you have dietary restrictions, explain them politely to the waiter.
14. Napkin know-how
Place your napkin on your lap when seated, and if you need to leave the table temporarily, put it on your chair. Only place it on the table when the meal is completely finished.
15. Volume control
The French appreciate a lively conversation, but keep your voice down, especially in upscale restaurants. Loud behaviour is often perceived as uncouth.
16. Smartphone etiquette
Keep your phone away from the table while eating, even in casual settings. Many find it rude to have a phone on the table during meals.
By following these guidelines, you’ll navigate French dining etiquette with confidence and grace, blending in seamlessly with local customs and expectations…
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